Post-Partum Depression.

When I had the D&C a week after the miscarriage, I was told at the hospital that the bleeding would only last a few days. But days turned to weeks and the bleeding never came to a end. With that, I started to lose all energy and did not want to do anything then what I "had to do". I went to work (although it took all that I had to convince myself to go), and I would take care of the improtant things at home but simlified (sandwhich and cereal for the children, let the children play on the WII while I sat on the couch, do as little laundry that I could get away with, clean only what was necessary but not the extra like I would normally do), I would not exercise, or get out much.
I felt like my world around me was falling apart and I was falling apart. I was watching all the medical bills adding up as if I had a complete delivery but no baby so then I felt bad for putting my family in a finacial stress over nothing, the condo has not sold and therefore I was losing hope that it will ever sell, it felt like Chris found more reasons to be away from home and work more than wanting to be at home, spritual things would not make me feel better; like I attended the temple 4 weeks after the miscarriage and even though it was good to go I felt disappointed that I did not get the clarity that I was hoping for (now I realize that I probably put the bar to high and expected too much too soon), I even found church hymns and sacrament talks to tear me up then help me.
I had started reading the Book of Mormon and praying but have not found a passage yet that gives me the enlightenment and the peace that I desire, but I know as I keep reading that I will find it.
This last fast Sunday, I decide to have a fast for myself with a preisthood blessing following it. The blessing did not give me the answers but did tell me that I will get to hold my baby girl in my arms when I get to the other side of the vail, and that I would also know the path in which I needed to proceed to get happy agian.
I have been feeling for a few weeks to make an appointment to talk with my family practice Dr. who I love and she is also LDS, and talk with her about what has been going on with me both physically and emotionally and see what she thought. After talking with her about how hard this has been on my, the physically I did not feel like I was getting better, I was feeling tired and un-motviated to do more then I had to, work was stressful, I tear up easily and was hormonal, I had alot of self-doubt and guilt. I was not sure what she would do; if she would tell me that it was normal to still feel the way that I do and give it more time, to put me on provera to stop the bleeding, or put me on a anti-depressant.
She decided to put me on both drugs for a little while and I can tell you that after a week and a half on both drugs; the bleeding finally stopped and I am find that I am smiling more, willing to clean more of my house, get out side and finding enjoyment reading my scriptures again. I know that I still have a long way to go where I still need to want to exercise and also find the peace and come to terms of what happend but I know that I am pointing in the right direction.

Post-partum depression can happen to anyone who has a pregnacy end no matter how, when or why. It is partly due to the dramatic change in the hormone level and the body adjusting to the "new normal". Some women can get as far as to wanting to hurt themselves or their children, but I have been blessed enough that that has not happended to me. I am greatful to Heavenly Father that helped me know how to feel better and get me to the things like my dr. to get me feeling better.
If any of you ever experience a miscarriage, infertility, and/or post partum depression. I am so sorry that you also have had to go through this pain. I know that it is a hard course that mother nature gives us women, but I also know that when we get through these trials that we become better and a much stronger women. Please do not feel guilty that you may have to seek help from the medical professionals. They are there to help us become healthy and well again and will look for our best interest.
I am working on becoming better and look forward to trying to have another baby again, selling our condo, and looing toward the future for myself and my family.